Someone who knows how to love you, without being told. Speak out, you are not easy to find

I spent my day at a friends house, helping him build. There were a couple of our mutual friends, helping too.
I'm a few years older than he is, but he allready has two children. A beautiful wife. A home.
Its not like his life is easy, or easier than mine, but it's warmer without a doubt.

Yesterday I was passing my village school, walking my dog, and I found myself staring throu the class windows at the children, wishing one of them would be mine. It hurt.

And its amazing, since I'we known this couple for ages, how they work out theire differences( and they have a lot of differeces), like nothing would ever bother them. I mean, Lidija and I were a thousand times more compatible, and had almost never had serious problems; it was like we were born to find each other; but still, I managed to fuck up.
He somehow doesnt. Maybe its the fact that he, compared to me, is an angel. He seems to never feel the need to break loose, run wild. Run free.
Dont missunderstand me, I never had the feeling, of being locked up, or not haveing enough personal space, but still, And I repeat, I fucked up.

Aljaž seems to fuck up everytime. How is that for a fishizem.

So, now Im alone. And the thought crosses my mind, "what if that was my only chance?".